That’s because I have  no new books to promote, and am off quietly thumping keys on my next one. (You can monitor my favourite distraction from said book here if you like.)

Oh COME ON.

You know I only post when I want you to buy something or come somewhere or do something!

That’s how I roll, babe.

Laters.

*blows smoke into your face and struts off*

*puts out fake cigarette, runs back, apologises and kisses your hand*

I can’t tell you HOW many international cities have requested I come do a book signing since the release of my latest novel, The Younger Man! (Chiefly because it could get me into legal trouble, since I would be making it up.)

But one place I will be doing one is Sydney, the birthplace of eggs. I will be discussing The Younger Man, and relationship stuff and book stuff, and answering a heck of a lot of questions.

It will take place on Thursday April 12, at Dymocks, 424 George Street, which is opposite the Apple store, and back a bit towards the QVB. Apologies to PC owners who don’t know where the Apple store is, or the fructose intolerant who avoid anything fruit-based whatsoever.

The event is, as always, free, but bookings are essential, so please call 02 9235 0155 to reserve your spot and your complementary diamond bracelet.*

Please arrive at 6 for 6:30 and wear your finest scuba gear**.

Til then, bumblebees!

*This is a lie.

**This also should be ignored.

Which is my new novel, and probably, definitely your new novel, so by all means go make that happen, you gorgeous little pikelets! What on earth are you waiting for! Do you want to be the only one on the tram not reading it? The only one at book club who hasn’t read it? The only one at Kobos and Kindles Monthly who isn’t scanning it furiously on a small screen? No, no, no. These are all terrible situations, and best avoided.

So! Let’s get you Younger Man-ned already.

You can buy it at all good and even mediocre book stores (HA HA, as if such a thing exists) and also online via Booktopia or Amazon or Borders.com or as an eBook at all those places and more, and also on iTunes and via iBooks and gosh, she’s just scarpered all over the place, really, hasn’t she!

GOOD.

That’s precisley what I wanted.

All my love and a leather glove,

Zoe

Here’s the cover so you know what to hunt down at all good booksellers and department stores and online booksellers at 9am on February 22 and not one day later:

You can read a description of the book here, or here but not here. Sadly it’s not vampire or wizard based, but as I am a vampire wizard, I have the ability to magically change the plot even after the book has been printed, so who can say?

To get you in the mood, you might like to read my first two novels, Air Kisses and Playing The Field. Or you might like to have a bath and an icy cold pina colada; I don’t know what your GD preparation preferences are!

I don’t mean to be bias (yes, I most certainly do) but I feel like it’s my best novel yet, and certainly the one I am most proud of. But don’t take my word for it, you dingus! Here’s what the people had to say:

“It’s the best account of the Balkan wars I’ve ever seen.”
- Graham Blumsdale.

“Add a dash of lime for taste!!”
- Gabi Martinez.

“I am on Facebook! LOL xxxx ”
- Jamie Kelsman

Hey, thanks, guys!!

The Younger Man, on sale February 22 (in Australia). Pre-order on Booktopia here.

Zoe Foster is an author, writer, blogger, speaker and eater of arrogant cheeses like burrata. She is probably best known as the author of this book, but has also written this book, and this one, and this one too. She absolutely did not, however, write this book. Zoe blogs here, Tumblrs here, tweets here, and writes a monthly column for this magazine. She is finishing up another book in this genre, due for publication early 2012. She currently sports this colour hair and likes listening to this band. She lives with this guy, has had this career and harbors some embarrassment that she has never watched this movie.